Jealousy Saga
by Makoto Sagara
Summary: Complete! Written for my beta's birthday. When Ken's secret gets out, and the object of his desire decides to do something about his crush, things get interesting.
1. Jealous

Title: Jealous Author: Makoto Sagara Archive: my site, and ff.net; anywhere else, just ask. Category: Angst Pairings: Ken + Youji, Omi + Aya Rating: PG-ish Warnings: Language, shonen ai, Ken POV  
  
Disclaimers: Dun own anything Weiß, except my posters and DVDs. Koyasu Takehito-sama and some big Japanese companies own the rights to the series and name. I'm just using the characters for some fun. Also, I hold no claim to the song I'm Jealous of Your Cigarette by Hawksley Workman. I have no money, so suing is pointless, unless you like pocket lint. Flames are used to keep me warm, or given to Neko for her bonfires.  
  
Dedication: This is for Duo-chan, my lovely beta, for her birthday. Happy 18th!  
  
Thanks: To the amazing Mo-chan for beta'ing for me. To Stacy, for getting me hooked on this song, and a few others.  
  
Symbols: ~blah~ - song lyrics *blah* - emphasized words *~*~* - change in scene  
  
Jealous  
  
Do you know what it's like to be jealous of something that's inanimate? Something that doesn't have feelings, thoughts, emotions, and only one purpose? Ok, so the thing's purpose isn't exactly a great one, but Youji seems to think it's more than enough, and every time I see him with it, I want to rip it away from him and take its place.  
  
I am jealous of a cigarette. How dumb is that? But the way that Youji sucks on that slim delicate stick, I feel so hot and bothered... I want to jump him, and I wish that he would do that to me. I want to give him that ecstatic look of pure pleasure that he gets when he lights his first smoke of the day or when he's particularly stressed.  
  
Jealous of a cigarette. Hello, I am Ken Hidaka, and I'm jealous of a cancerous cigarette. Shit. I'm pathetic.  
  
Ok, so I'm jealous of more than just his cigarettes. I'm jealous of the women he flirts with, the way his eyes flash when a particularly beautiful woman (or man) comes into his line of vision, the way he stares after Manx at mission briefings, and just about anything or one that gets to touch him more than just casually.  
  
I think I'm obsessed, and I have no way to adequately deal with it.  
  
~No muscle man, no candy cane~  
  
~No pack of sexy starving wolves~  
  
~No money talking, moonlight walking~  
  
~Lady shocking, big crow cocking~  
  
~Those ladybugs can go to blazes~  
  
~Here and there go pretty faces~  
  
~All of this don't mess my stuffing~  
  
~Only one thing got me huffing~  
  
Shit, it's seven-thirty in the morning, and he comes into the kitchen with one of those damned death sticks lit, puffing away happily. And now, I stare....... He's in nothing but a deliciously short black silk robe; it barely covers his matching boxers. He hasn't noticed that anyone is watching him, even though Aya, Omi and myself are situated in random parts of the kitchen.  
  
He shakes those long, honey-tinted locks and runs a hand through them, making them even messier. Omi has to lean over me and whisper loudly in my ear to get my attention. I shake my head, blush, and mutter something about not being awake and more coffee. Nicely done, Ken. Bet he thinks you're an idiot now.  
  
No, he just laughs deeply, flicks ashes into the ever-present ashtray, and goes to get his own coffee, asking me if I want another cup. I nod mutely and turn my head; anything to avoid having to look at Youji in his barely dressed state or the slim cigarette as it hangs lightly from his firm, full lips. The things my mind imagines about those lips  
  
And suddenly, it becomes a bit too hot to be in the kitchen anymore. I leave and stand out on the balcony, letting the cool January air calm me down, and hopefully let my head clear out of anything that I don't really want to share with anyone else...  
  
Well, that's not *entirely* true, but you understand what I'm saying, right?  
  
~I'm jealous of your cigarette~  
  
~And all the things you do with it~  
  
~I'm jealous of your cigarette~  
  
~And the pleasure that you get from it~  
  
~And not me~  
  
~All this time your talking no~  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ok, it's now about noon. Omi's away at school, and the rest of us are dealing with the flower shop that serves as our cover. Looking at us, you'd never imagine that we are responsible for the 'mysterious' deaths of all the corrupt politicians, rotten business men, and leaders of drug/slave/guns/etc rings. But, we are, and we do our jobs, both of them, to the best of our abilities.  
  
In a few short hours, I will have to share Youji with more than just Aya and Obaba-san[1]. I don't want school to end, although having Omi around will make it a little easier for me to concentrate on the 'work' I'm supposed to be doing.  
  
"Ken!" Aya's deep voice snaps me from my thoughts, and I realize that I have just succeeded in over-watering a brand new fern. Kuso... it's totally useless now. In a matter of time, it will die, even if I try to drain all the water from it.  
  
Great going, dork. You've just let Youji, *and* Aya, know what a complete and utter idiot you are. Why not do something else dumb? Like blurt out all the dirty things you'd like to do with Youji every time he lights up his cigarettes? Or tell Aya that he might have friends if he'd remove the stick from up his ass? Or take Omi out, get him drunk and then shove him in Aya's room.  
  
Okay, the last two are no good. If I did either, then I'd be the jerk with no friends.  
  
"Hey, Aya, it's time for my break, and I'd like to take Ken-ken outside to talk," Youji says casually, and I'm frozen to the spot I'm standing in. He... wants to *talk* to me? What the hell? "That cool?"  
  
"Eto... fine. Just don't take too long," Aya says, his voice faltering in the usual chill he gives Youji.  
  
A dismissive wave from Youji to Aya, and soon, I'm being led out the side door of the shop and into the alleyway where my motorcycle is parked. It's looking a little grimy from the deliveries I made this morning. I think I need to give it a nice washing tonight after the shop closes. Yes, that's the plan. I'll clean my bike, and then go on a *very* long drive to unwind.  
  
My thoughts are taken from my bike back to Youji as soon as he lights up a cigarette.  
  
~No king, no prince with gold ring pinky~  
  
~I suggest that we do something kinky~  
  
~No pilot flying private plane~  
  
~To smooch you on the hills of Spain~  
  
~No catapult to all night kisses~  
  
~That old thing just always misses~  
  
~All of this don't mess my stuffing~  
  
~Only one thing got me huffing~  
  
He takes a long drag from the cylindrical object in his hand, and breathes out a large cloud of nasty smoke. I am staring, mesmerized, at the look of pure satisfaction that has crossed my team mate's face.  
  
"So, Ken, what's up with you recently? You're acting like a zombie one minute and a hormone crazed teenager the next," he says, fixing me with a look that makes my knees feel like they are made out of putty.  
  
"B-betsuni... H-honto ni..." I stutter out. I sound like an idiot. I know I do, but my mouth isn't working as fast as I would like it.  
  
"Bull," he calmly states, taking another puff from his little friend. "In my opinion, Ken, you need to get laid."  
  
I almost faint as he says that. I can't believe he just said that I needed to get laid. If he had *any* inkling of what my mind was processing at the moment, he'd be sick to his stomach. He'd never talk to me again; I'm sure of it.  
  
"Y-you're kidding, right?" I ask.  
  
"No. And if you ever need any help, you know where to look." He winks, drops his cigarette butt, steps on it, and walks back into the shop. I stare at the discarded, misshapen, and forgotten butt, and I hate it even more. Even though he dropped it when he was done with it, another one will be there to take its place the next time he wants one.  
  
Just like all the women he dates.  
  
~I'm jealous of your cigarette~  
  
~And all the things you do with it~  
  
~I'm jealous of your cigarette~  
  
~And how you wanna suck on it~  
  
~And not me~  
  
~All this time your talking no~  
  
They may be discarded, but at least they get to share some time with sexy, undeniable, charismatic, and unobtainable Kudou Youji. Unlike me.  
  
I hate them. All of them. They get a few moments of his time, and I get to watch him with them. All of them.  
  
Then, I think about what he said before he left me standing here, looking like the idiot I am. "If I ever need any help.... I know where to look?" I think over that one sentence and the wink that followed it. "Was.... Was that an offer, Youji?"  
  
"Maybe it was, Ken-ken."  
  
~All this time your talking no~  
  
I blush, but still stare at the cigarette butt on the ground in front of my feet. Even though he might be serious, I can't think of anything to say to that.  
  
"Come inside, before Aya has a coronary and we're stuck dealing with Omi- kun after he finds out about it," Youji says, his footsteps disappearing into the distance.  
  
And the cigarette butt just lays there. Maybe it should be jealous of me.....  
  
~I'm jealous of your cigarette~  
  
Notes:  
  
[1] Obaba-san – Japanese, "grandmother; old woman" 


	2. Nothing to be Jealous About

Title: Nothing To Be Jealous About Author: Makoto Sagara Archive: my site and ff.net; Anywhere else, just ask! Category: Angst, Romance Pairings: Youji/Ken, Omi + Aya Rating: R Warnings: Shonen ai, language, lime, Youji POV  
  
Disclaimers: Dun own anything Weiß, except my posters and DVDs. Koyasu Takehito-sama and some big Japanese companies own the rights to the series and name. I'm just using the characters for some fun. I have no money, so suing is pointless, unless you like pocket lint. Flames are used to keep me warm, or given to Neko for her bonfires.  
  
Dedication: To Sara, because the first one was a big tease, and this is the real meat of the story! Long live the Evil Onna! *beams and runs off*  
  
Thanks: To Jo, who when I told her about the first part told me I had to write *at least* a lime to follow up.  
  
Symbols: *blah* - emphasized words *~*~* - change in scene  
  
Nothing To Be Jealous About  
  
I've noticed the way he stares at me. I would have to be an idiot not to, and I may be many things -- a womanizer, a smoker, a chronic drinker -- but idiot is *not* on that list. He always stares at me when I smoke. It's a bit endearing, and a lot disturbing. He all but glares as I light up my first cig of the day. I'm used to seeing Aya glare, but Ken... No fucking way.  
  
So, when he killed Aya's little pet project of that hideous fern, I knew it was time to step in. I told Aya that I was going on a short break and led Ken outside to the alley beside the shop. We got out there, and the former soccer player just stares at his bike. I know the thing is important to him -- about as important as my jeep is to me -- but I'm tired of the way he's being shy about his attraction.  
  
To be perfectly honest, I'm bisexual. I like both men and women. I prefer to think of myself as an equal opportunity lover, but since Asuka died, I just haven't really gotten over her... That's why I always end up with some woman who resembles her, if only superficially. I suppose that's how I deal with the grief. Or maybe I'm just a *little* afraid of becoming attached to anyone, even my own team mates. But Ken, well, he's just sexy, in a naïve sort of way.  
  
So, when I lit a cigarette in the alley with Ken and he stared his envious glaring, I knew it was time to make the first step, in an ambiguous sort of way. "So, Ken, what's up with you recently? You're acting like a zombie one minute and a hormone crazed teenager the next," I said, looking at him, letting some of my concern show through. He looks as if he's going to faint. That's just too cute.  
  
"B-betsuni... H-honto ni..." he stutters, and I have to hide the snicker that I *really* want to let loose. He's such a horrible liar.  
  
"Bull," I calmly stated, taking another drag from the cigarette in my hand. "In my opinion, Ken, you need to get laid."  
  
I watched him as he tried to figure out what I said. He grew kind of pale, in the 'I'm about to faint if I don't get some oxygen to my brain' sort of way. Again with the cute behaviour that I knew I would have to take advantage of, at least once. For my own sanity, of course.  
  
"Y-you're kidding, right," he asked, voice still hitching a bit.  
  
"No. And if you ever need any help, you know where to look." I gave him one of my infamous winks, finished off my cig, crushed it into the ground, and walked into the shop. He thought I was gone, but I stood behind the door, watching through the crack and waiting to see if he would actually get what I was offering. All he did was stare at the ground for about two minutes.  
  
Then, his head snapped up. "If I ever need any help.... I know where to look?" he asked, and I could have sworn I could hear the cogs turning in his mind. "Was.... Was that an offer, Youji?"  
  
I smirked, and decided to let him know I was still there. "Maybe it was, Ken-ken."  
  
He froze, and I imagined the blush that would be across his cheeks. I couldn't help but chuckle quietly to myself. He was very silent and staring at the ground again. I wouldn't win if he kept this up. I made a mental note to continue this later.  
  
"Come inside, before Aya has a coronary and we're stuck dealing with Omi- kun after he finds out about it," I said, heading back to deal with the Ice Prince and the gaggle of girls who would appear in about an hour.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ken was a little twitchy for the rest of the day, and jumped every time Aya called his name so he could take an order out. I nearly laughed every time, but thought better about it. Had it been me in his shoes, I don't think I would have appreciated anyone laughing at my preoccupation in catching Aya's attention. He's not exactly the easiest person to work with.  
  
Omi kept giving him worried glances, but it's kind of hard to talk to one another when surrounded by about ten girls each. And they were all girls -- not a legal one in sight after four p.m. When Ken would leave to make deliveries, Omi then took the opportunity to steal a few glances at Aya, but our 'fearless leader' was too busy trying to ignore the girls who were pressing in on him and to work to notice the wistful look on the Chibi's face. At least I know when someone's giving me looks filled with lust and longing, but also, I'm not Aya.  
  
Finally, seven p.m. rolled around, and I happily escorted our fan club to the door of the shop. Ken walked Obaba-san and her cat back to her apartment across the street, and Aya, Omi and myself cleaned up the mess and covered up the displays in the window. I watched as Ken made his way with Obaba-san through the front display window, and a stray beam of fading sunlight lit up his face and hair. It was near-breathtaking.  
  
"He's nice looking, isn't he," Omi asked, watching Ken just like I was.  
  
"He is," I replied looking down at the Chibi at my elbow. "So, Chibi, what's it to you?"  
  
"I don't know. Ken's just the most normal of us all, I guess. I envy him that." A wistful look stole across his genki little face. "I mean, I was raised in this mess. Aya came over for revenge. You, Youji, I don't know why you're here, but I know that Ken has nowhere else to go, but could still have a real life. I just wish things were that easy for me sometimes."  
  
I ran a hand through his dirty-blond locks fondly, thinking over what he was saying. It was true. Everyone of us had our own reasons for why we're here, acting as assassins for a nearly nonexistent boss. Aya wanted Taketori's head on a platter, and for good reasons. I had nowhere else to be, and hoped that one day I could find the group that killed Asuka – to bury her ghost once and for all. Omi has been an assassin for as long as he could remember back. That just left Ken, who came to us after his supposed 'mysterious' death which followed a big scandal on the J-league Soccer team. I remember reading about it when it happened.  
  
"Well, kiddo, not much we can do, now is there," I asked, turning from the window as Ken quickly approached the door, pulled it wide and slunk to the floor. He looked as if he had been mugged, and was breathing as if he had been running.  
  
"What happened to you, Ken," Omi asked, running over to check on his friend.  
  
"Girls... Scary... Tried to run... Found me..." he said between breaths.  
  
I raised an eyebrow at Aya, who glared at our fallen team mate, and locked the front door before turning to head up to the apartment. I was followed by voices, but headed to my own room, waiting until I was sure that I could get Ken-ken alone, and not quite so exhausted – for all the wrong reasons.  
  
I heard the door of the room next to mine, Ken's, shut and a thud on the floor. I carefully made my way to his room, using my skills to make no noise and put my head against the door. I listened very carefully as his muffled voice became clearer.  
  
"...such an idiot... never gonna look at you now... thinks you're a loser.... Great job, Hidaka... should just die now... over with...."  
  
Well, that wasn't what I expected. Sounded like Ken was having a few problems about something, and I had a pretty good feeling what that was. Backing away from the door a little and making a small amount of noise, I knocked on the brown-haired man's door.  
  
"Go away, Omi," Ken said, his voice muffled still.  
  
"You know, I'd *love* to fulfill your request, but I'm not Omi," I said as jovially as I could, smirking to myself. I waited as time ticked by slowly and Ken didn't say anything else. "Ken? You ok there?"  
  
"Y-Youji?" He sounded more than a bit surprised. I shook my head. This was going to be a lot more difficult than I previously thought. His little schoolboy crush was going to be a problem if he kept acting so shocked every time I talked to him.  
  
"Yeah, it's me. May I come in?" Another thud and a slight crash sounded on the other side of the door, and I was rewarded with a grimacing brunet as he opened the door. "What happened?"  
  
"N-nothing. Just kinda..." He dropped his head, and I snuck a look into his room. What I saw was his nightstand slightly askew and the covers on his bed mussed. I looked back at the younger man in front of me, who was blushing a bit. Out of nerves or embarrassment, I couldn't rightly tell.  
  
"So, are you going to let me in," I asked, acting as if I didn't notice anything.  
  
"Ano... Do you really want to come in," he inquired, the blush across his cheeks spreading to the rest of his face. I decided to take pity on him.  
  
"No, I don't have to, but I'd like to talk to you." I paused to think where we could go to have a semi-private talk without going too far. "Let's go out to the kitchen balcony." I turned and led the way outside. I heard a whispered "Okay" and the footsteps that signaled that he was following.  
  
I waved to Omi, who was in the living room on the couch, watching television, and to Aya, who was fixing some odd concoction that I was *not* going to eat. I opened the door that led to the balcony and held it that way until Ken came out and stood beside me. Then, I shut it – right in Aya and Omi's faces. Damn nosey people. They need to take the hint.  
  
When I was sure that both the redhead and the blond were away from the door, I turned to my companion. He was staring out into the city, and I watched him watching the view. A little chilly breeze picked up and blew his short hair around his face, his bangs completely covering his blue eyes. He shivered in the cold air and I had to resist the urge to pull him close and keep him warm. He was beautiful in the half moon's light, and I suddenly wondered how I had missed that before then.  
  
"Ken?" I called, my voice low and husky with the desire I felt for him right then and getting his attention.  
  
"H-hai?" he asked, voice shaky and nervous. He turned to look at me for the first time since I had made my offer and a powerful surge of lust slammed into my bloodstream. I wasted no time, but instead, grabbed him by his shoulders, pulled him close and kissed him - hard.  
  
His lips were soft and very still, but he never pulled away. I wrapped him into a restricting embrace and licked his lips with my tongue, asking silently for entrance to his sweet mouth. His body tensed a little, and I slid a hand down to his waist, pulling him closer to me. The former soccer player let his body relax and opened his mouth, albeit hesitantly. I could feel the rest of his body come to life, and made a mental note when his hand flew to my long hair and began to try to control the kiss.  
  
After a few moments later, I broke for air, and saw that Ken's face was totally relaxed. I smiled and lifted his face to look at me. "Ken, I don't think you're an idiot, loser, or whatever else you were saying to yourself earlier."  
  
His eyes flew open, a look of absolute horror across his face. "You... You... You heard me?"  
  
"Only a little, but that's not the point. There's nothing for you to be embarrassed, or jealous for that matter, about. You're fine just the way you are," I said, placing a chaste kiss on his forehead and leaving him to think outside on the balcony. I think he got the message that I was serious earlier. Next step was on him, and I needed a cigarette. 


End file.
